Sunday, November 05, 2006

Haggard's story continues to devolve

Ted Haggard, the beleaguered pastor of one of the nation's most influential evangelical churches, was fired Saturday after admitting "sexually immoral conduct."

Haggard's New Life Church issued a statement saying he had been removed. But the church's oversight board, which was investigating accusations Haggard had sex with a gay prostitute and used methamphetamine, offered no details of its findings.


So, if I remember correctly, the daily revisions go something like this.

* Day 1: Haggard says the story is untrue and he's never met the accuser.

* Day 2: Haggard says there were "indiscretions", admitting that he met the accuser after being scheduled for a massage, and bought meth from him -- but threw it away and didn't use it. But he says there was nothing sexual at all, and that he's faithful to his wife.

* Day 3: Haggard admits there was "sexual misconduct" with the accuser, but doesn't state whether he was the pitcher or the catcher, nor whether he spat or swallowed.

If this continues, we can predict:

* Day 4: Haggard admits that he shoots heroin daily, and sells crack to schoolboys

* Day 5: Haggard admits that he rapes babies and strangles kittens — or, perhaps, that he rapes kittens and strangles babies.

* Day 6: Haggard admits that he sold chemical weapons to Saddam Hussein

* Day 7: Haggard admits that he gave nuclear secrets to North Korea in exchange for sexual favors from Kim Jong-Il.

Seriously though... It's interesting that apparently Haggard confessed these vague "sexual indiscretions" privately back on Thursday (Nov. 2), but continued to insist in public that he's innocent and faithful to his wife even after that.

That demonstrates that he continues even now to lie. Everybody who ever followed him and held him as an example should be really pissed off.

And, incidentally, don't I remember a phrase that applies nicely here? Something like, "It's not the sex — it's the cover up and the lies"?

Tags: methaphetamine | New Life Church | sex | Religion | PASTOR | METH | HYPOCRISY | gay | evangelism | ted | Haggard | COLORADO SPRINGS | Colorado

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